What Women Want: Browsing through Apps
When it comes to putting together a dating app, the most important component is the profile picture you choose.
Despite the fact that people start browsing online to find what they are looking for, they often break their own “rules” when they see a picture that catches their eyes. With the understanding that women are discarding their own boundaries, it’s that much more important to provide a better sense of who you are and what you are about to ensure the right women are matching with you for the right reasons.
Aziz Ansari, comedian and author of Modern Romance, analyzes what it is like to date in the modern world. He discusses today’s dating patterns and notes how it has transformed over the years. (This is a book I highly recommend!) Not only did he have studies conducted, he surveyed Reddit groups and spoke with Christian Rudder, the co-founder of OkCupid.
Rudder reported that the most successful pictures for men were pictures where men were not staring directly at the camera. Pictures where the man is looking off into the distance were more successful than straight-on selfie pictures. He did note that it was okay if they were not smiling in these pictures (this is opposite of what men look for and will be noted in another blog). Personally, I believe it’s important that you have at least one picture of you smiling - it shows a softer side and is more inviting and more enticing to interact with.
Additionally, Rudder also noted that the most effective photos, for men, were photos that involved men interacting with animals, showing off muscles, and then photos of them doing something interesting.
**Please remember: if you are someone who wants to show off your physique that you refer back to the note that pictures that are straight-on selfies are not as effective. That means, do not take a picture of yourself in the mirror of your bathroom or the mirror of your gym flexing your muscles.
If you have a body type in which you want to strut your stuff, do it in a manner that doesn’t come across as cocky or self-absorbed. Pictures of you hanging out by the pool or the beach or going for a run are a great way to not only show off your efforts but also provide an opportunity to display what some of your interests are (fitness, hiking, soaking up the sun, etc). This provides a glimpse into some of your hobbies while at the same time allowing people to see what your whole body looks like. More importantly, it does it in a manner that creates room for a conversation to be had rather than enabling women to instantly assume you are shallow and are only looking for sexual conversations.
Aziz noted, in his book, that the least effective photos were photos of the outdoors, travel photos, and photos involving drinking. Let me elaborate. Just posting photos of the outdoors to show you enjoy the outdoors does not suffice as a good profile picture. People want to see pictures of you. Not of your interests. A picture of you enjoying your interests and being engaged creates a very different impression. This applies to travel photos as well. If you traveled to Paris, be sure that you use a photo of you with the Eiffel Tower in the background rather than just a photo of the Eiffel Tower.
It’s easy to also see why someone might post a picture that includes alcohol. You want to showcase that you like to go out with your friends and have a good time. However, be cautious about posting drinking photos. There’s a lot of space for people to make their own assumptions and write their own stories about you that could very well end up not being true. When you show a profile picture of you drinking, it’s hard for someone to know if drinking is a priority in your life, how often you drink, how much you drink when you drink, etc. For some, alcohol may be a red flag depending on what their own personal experience is. If your world doesn’t revolve around alcohol, you may want to stray away from including alcohol in your pictures. At minimum, you don’t need to be actively drinking in the photo - holding a beer in your hand is going to be better than you gulping it down.
Wanting to post a picture of you out and about and showcasing things you like to do is a great start. Women want to see you and a glimpse of who you are. Posting these types of pictures provide opportunities for conversations to be had about shared experiences and common interests. However, if your pictures are simply you just in the mirror, or selfies of you biting your lip, or just close-ups, there’s no room to really see your personality and it’s hard to decipher how you might be in real life.
